KISS Special Delivery

KISS, Special Delivery People often ask me, "So, what was it like to work with Kiss?" Well, it was loads of fun.First of all, everyone in the band has a great sense of humor. And nothing was funnier than when, during a period in the late eighties, we all got "bowling" crazy. Either Gene or Paul would rent a bowling alley and they'd invite lots of other musicians and celebrities. Don Henley, Brian May of Queen, Bret Michaels of Poison, Michael Bolton are just a fewthat come to mind. Plus actors and directors like Robert Downey Jr., James Cameron, director of "Avatar", "Titanic", "The Terminator" and others.

And, of course, many, many beautiful women. But I'll get to the beautiful women in a bit. Anyway, when it came to bowling, boy, did we ever suck. All of us. So bad that Paul and I became convinced that our problem was using the ordinary balls that you picked off the rack at the alley. So, wanting to show Gene and Bruce and everybody else what's what, we went out and got made these big, custom gray "Rhino" bowling balls. Special order. Oooh!

Of course, we still sucked. Even worse, maybe. I was at a Kiss show in Dallas the other night, and Paul and I were still laughing about it.

One of the funniest parts about the bowling thing was watching everybody's unique delivery. Paul was a finesse guy. He'd study the pins like he was trying to figure out cold fusion, then tip toe up to the line and lay down a smooth roller. Gene, being the God of Thunder, was determined the pins would be shattered and humiliated. Bruce Kulick had a swing so high, he'd practically separate his shoulder. Eric Carr would just sit and laugh at us all. And of course, everyone's performance was subject to constant criticism from the others. From the others who, did I mention, also sucked.

Okay, so the beautiful women. At one point, Paul and I were dating two roommate beauty queens. One night, we went bowling, just the four of us. Good thing no one else in the band was there to see us because the two beauty queens thoroughly kicked our butts. They'd stagger up to the foul line, drop a ball they barely had strength to hold. It would take about 15 seconds to crawl down the alley, then KABOOM! The pins would fly like they were made of anti-matter. I'd keep track of the score and Paul and I would look at each other. "Dude. We TOTALLY, TOTALLY, TOTALLY SUCK!"